Time Flies!

I'm so in love with my little guy, how can you love something so much? I look forward to picking him up from school and feel sad when I have to drop him off at school in the mornings. I have a mother's guilt every time J.R. says he wants to stay home, every time J.R. cheers because he gets to stay home with us all day but I know in my head pre-school is the best thing for him. He is so adaptable and  he's learning so much from school and he absolutely LOVES his friends. Speaking of friends, we are having a play date at our house this Sunday. We have invited 4 of J.R.'s buddies from school (Gavril, Gabe, Alizar and Evan) to our house for lunch (pizza) and play. I asked J.R. what he wants to do with his friends and he said, he wants to show them his room and then play football and baseball. This is the first time we've had a play date with friends from school.

I'm so scared I'm going to wake up and before I know it J.R. will be moving out of the house. It's already gone by so fast, these 3 years and we only have 15 more years left before he goes out into the world on his own.

Tonight I let J.R. fall asleep in my bed while Tony is studying for a Cell-Phys test tomorrow. He's so adorable when he sleeps, I have to share this picture.



J.R. falls asleep holding my hand most nights. This is my favorite time of day!



We had our last play of the season a few weeks ago. The plays are so much fun, we will miss them until next year. J.R. gets to play with Audrey, his playmate since he was first born.

Audrey and J.R. wanted to go on stage after the play. J.R. gave his first on stage kiss!

Waiting in line before the play keeping cool playing with a spray bottle.

Enjoying our food and drinks before the play started.

Last weekend we went to Des Moines. It was my 20 year class reunion, I can't believe it's been that long. It was SO nice seeing all my old classmates. Tony, J.R. and my grandpa traveled with for the festivities. Tony was surprised by how genuine and nice everyone was, he couldn't believe how many people knew him. Word travels in a small town and everyone knows everything! I loved that my grandpa could spend time back in Chariton with his friends and my old friends. My grandpa got to see his old office that he built, which is now run by another doctor. He use to be the "town doctor" back in the day when they did house calls. You would not believe that he charged $5 for an office visit, $10 for a house visit and $100 for delivering a baby! Those were the days! Speaking of Des Moines, Tony toured Des Moines Medical School, where my grandpa went to med school. It was amazing, one of the top DO schools in the country. Wouldn't it be funny if we ended up there?

We visited the cemetery where my mom and grandmother are buried while J.R. and Tony fed the ducks at the pond.

Professional spaghetti eater!

Arriving at Des Moines airport.

Tony took this picture. We are at the office in Chariton. This is the first bar that J.R. was in...  he was almost 4  years old!

Auntie Ju Ju, J.R.'s god mother and my high school friend Erin.

Here are a few of my classmates!



So we are back at home, safe and living life too fast. We are back to the daily grind with life flying by way too fast. The weather is getting cooler and it's almost the perfect time of the year. J.R. and I are going to spend more time outside after school, now that it's not so hot outside!

One more sweet thing I want to share tonight, one of those "cute" little things that J.R. does that steels my heart. I was curious who J.R. considered his best friend. Since we have his little buddies coming over Sunday, I wondered if Gavril was still his best friend so I asked him. J.R. responded, "you mommy, you are my best friend". I know his "best friend" changes throughout the day but at that moment I was his best friend and that made my heart sing!



Hee Hee Hee Hee

On the way home from school today I saw J.R. picking his nose out of my rear view mirror. I asked him if he had  boogies. J.R. asked if I had any tissues. I told him no but we have LOTS of tissues at home. J.R. responded, "but mom, the boogies will be gone by the time we get home."

Tonight when Tony got home from classes J.R. was watching his favorite show, Sponge Bob! J.R. ran up to Tony and said, "Daddy, if you want to change the channel, that's okay.". What a sweet little boy!

Here's some cute pictures I took tonight as J.R. was falling asleep. J.R. and I have a new bedtime ritual lately. Now, after brushing his teeth I read him a book of his choice. Lately it's been Star Wars books. Tony's mom gave us 3 of his old Star Wars books from when he was little and J.R. LOVES them. After reading J.R. asks me to lay down in his bed and I jump right in, under the covers. He then moves over to the wall (one side of his bed is against the wall) and tells me I can cuddle close to him as he pats his pillow and says he will share his pillow and I can put my head right there where his hand is. J.R. then says I can fall asleep in his bed if I want. We cuddle and he holds my finger as he falls asleep. What a lucky life!

It only took 5 minutes for J.R. to fall asleep tonight!

My favorite thing, J.R. squeezing my finger as we cuddle.

Don't take it for granted!

I am such a lucky mommy! I have a healthy, sweet,clever, loving little boy that is my son. Everyday he amazes me with different traits and qualities that he's created all on his own. Time is flying by SO fast, I can't believe this wonderful little boy has been in my life for 3 year, 8 months and 4 days. I know I had a life before my little guy but I don't remember much about my life before J.R. I'm sure all mom's feel the same way as I do but J.R and I share such a special bond and relationship between the two of us.  No one else on this earth could possibly have what we share, right... well I found out Friday night I was wrong, very wrong!

I came across some headline on the Internet about Taylor Swift and a song she sang for this little boy that died from cancer. I clicked on the video and cried during the entire song. Here are the lyrics:

I remember your bare feet
Down the hallway
I remember your little laugh
Race cars on the kitchen floor
Plastic dinosaurs
I love you to the moon and back

I remember your blue eyes
Looking into mine
Like we had our own secret club
I remember your dancing before bedtime
Then jumping on me waking me up

I can still feel you hold my hand
Little man
And even in the moment I knew
You fought it hard like an army guard
Remember I, leaned in and whispered to you

Come on baby with me
We're gonna fly away from here
You were my best four years

I remember the drive home
When the blind hope
Turned to crying and screaming why
Flowers pile up in the worst way
No one knows what to say
About a beautiful boy who died
And its about to be Halloween
You could be anything
You wanted if you were still here

I remember the last day
When I kissed your face
And I whispered in your ear

Come on baby with me
We're gonna fly away from here
Out of this curtained room
And this hospital grey will just disappear

Come on baby with me
We're gonna fly away from here
You were my best four years

What if I'm standing in your closet
Trying to talk to you?
And what if I kept your hand-me-downs
You won't grow in to?
And what if I really thought some miracle
Would see us through?
And what if the miracle was even getting
One moment with you?

Come on baby with me
We're gonna fly away from here

Come on baby with me
We're gonna fly away from here
You were my best four years

I remember you bare feet
Down the hallway
I love you to the moon and
Back...

This song was written for a little boy named Ronan Thompson who died from cancer right before his 4th birthday. He fought for his life for 8 months. His mother started a blog when she received the diagnosis and you can see the roller coaster ride of their life. Below is her post the day after her little boy died. This is so full of pain, torment and sweetness. Nobody should have to go through what this family has gone through.

http://rockstarronan.com/2011/05/09/where-is-ronan/#comments

After reading this Friday night, I grabbed J.R. from his bed and brought him into my bed to cuddle. Did I tell you that J.R. likes to cuddle with his mommy? This is the best time of my day, when J.R. and I cuddle. I sobbed for hours after reading Ronan's blog and kept hugging and kissing my little sleeping little guy. I felt SO lucky to have a healthy little boy. I had to stop reading Ronan's blog, it became too painful at a point. This poor family can't just stop reading like I had the luxury of doing, they had to and have to live this every day of their life. I have been thinking about it all weekend, trying not to take a thing for granted.

The purpose of this post is so I never forget how lucky I am.... I have a wonderful family, great friends and most of all a healthy son. I can't believe a parent would ever have to live without their child on this earth. I can't believe a child has to go through so much physical pain. I know that I have lived blindly in this life but this has opened my eyes to what could be and pray I will never have to deal with such a horrific tragedy.

This makes me want to be a better mother, a better wife and a better human being. I have a hard time living in the moment, I'm always trying to organize what's coming next. I will try to live in the moment because I am not guaranteed the next moment will come. Most importantly I will live each day to be a better mommy. I'm so lucky I am a mommy. Next time I'm tired and J.R. wants to play I will work through my tiredness and play with my little boy... feeling so lucky that J.R. can play. I need to feel fortunate that J.R. is not stuck in a hospital bed, fighting for his life and be ecstatic that he's tugging at my skirt wanting to play baseball or hockey. I should feel so fortunate that J.R. talks during movies and asks a ton of questions, at least he can sit up by himself and he's strong enough to speak. His nonstop questions should amaze me and not annoy me, I need to be thankful that his mind is working and growing.

I tell J.R. every night before he goes to bed I'm the luckiest mommy in the world to have a son like him. I tell him that he is the most special boy that I know and I love him more than anything in this world. He sweetly replies I love you too mommy let's cuddle. We cuddle and J.R. falls asleep squeezing my finger, just like he did when he was a baby. I LOVE  you J.R. I always will, I'm one lucky mommy.

J.R. making a "funny face".

Chicago Trip and more..

This last weekend J.R. and Tony flew to Chicago for a long weekend and I went to Scottsdale with a group of girlfriends.

When J.R. got home on Tuesday he tried to ignore me for the first hour or so, then he turned into his cuddly self. J.R. began telling me story after story.

He said Papa was very good a video games. Papa beat him three times and J.R. didn't win once.

J.R. also said the favorite thing he did was go to a cubs game, he said, "do you know why that was my favorite thing? It's because they WON!"

J.R. imitated the "booty dance" as he calls it. He sticks his bottom out and shakes it really fast. He explained this is what a guy did at the baseball and won the dance off!

Here is a picture of  J.R. at the Chicago Cubs game! He got a ball again! This kid gets a ball from the field every time he goes to a game, thanks to his daddy always getting good seats and J.R.'s persuasive abilities!

The official school year begins August 20th and J.R. graduated to the Penguin room, he was a Sea Turtle last year. J.R. is not too excited about his teacher. He doesn't think his teacher likes him. Tony and I are going to open house Friday night. We've only seen his new teacher, Ms. Debbie in passing and she does not seem too friendly. Only time will tell. It will be good for J.R. not to be a favorite, I just hope that his new teacher enjoys teaching.

Last night we picked out his Halloween costume. As we were walking into the store, J.R. said, "Mom, I need to try on the costume before I buy it.". I responded, "Oh, no J.R. that's way too much work and there's no where to try it on in the store." J.R. said, "Oh no mom, I have to try it on, trust me mom, just trust me." Where does this kid come up with this stuff? I asked him, where he heard the trust me phrase and he said, "Mom, I just know it.".

Here's a preview of Halloween!

Summer Fun Time

Yet again, it's been way too long since my last post. We've done so much that last few months, so much that I've forgotten a lot of it! Here are some pictures.

J.R. had ribs for the first time.

Being cute on a Saturday morning.

Obviously, Hockey time!

Yummy, J.R. LOVES ice cream!

We went to Manhattan Beach and went to Dodgers games!

Before the Dodgers game they had a fan appreciation day.  J.R. had a blast!

Daddy and J.R. went to the Angels game in the afternoon then a Stanley Cup playoff game that same night at the LA Kings. What a lucky boy!

J.R. at the house on the beach we rented for a week of summer fun!

Disneyland.. we took this picture for Auntie Lori!

First corndog!

Winning at the carnival games!

Right before the 3D movie!

In Iowa for my Great Aunt's burial in Des Moines. This is a  pond at the cemetery and there are TONS of ducks!  This is the same cemetery that my grandmother is buried, J.R.'s great grandma.

Hibachi dinner!

First time using chopsticks!

This is J.R.'s very first playmate, Audrey. They have been friends since birth!

J.R. had 4 weeks of swimming lessons! He is now a  fish, he can swim the crawl all the way across the pool, (longways)! He does have goggles and fins but for 3 1/2 that is fantastic!

I remember when I took pictures of J.R. sleeping  and he was a small nugget in his crib. He's so BIG now! We just measured him, he's 43" tall!

AJ, J.R.'s cousin came to visit for a few weeks. They got to play hockey a lot during AJ's visit!

What a great picture! Left to right, J.R., AJ and  Tony!

J.R. beat me bowling.

We went to visit the Mirage's dolphin exhibit during AJ's visit.

Tournament of Kings!

Arcade

After laser tag!

J.R. LOVES AJ, can you tell?

During AJ's visit we went to 3 Angel's games. One game had the Goo Goo Dolls play after the game and we went on the field. 

J.R. after a movie, I think AJ is worn out!

Lunch at BJ's!

Sandi's birthday!